Chuck vs the Choice
by rachel-rage
Summary: Post Intersect, some Chuck/Sarah. Chuck must make an important choice about his future.
1. Chapter 1

Ok. My second fanfic here. I don't own Chuck. Reviews are _very_ welcome. Enjoy!

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Chuck was surrounded by white when he woke up. White walls, white floor, white bedspread, and he was wearing a white hospital gown. Tucked up to his chin was the scratchy white material of a hospital blanket, and a pulse monitor beeped regularly at his side. On the other side, with her hand wrapped around his, was Sarah Walker, fast asleep, laying her head on his arm. Her golden hair was feathery on his arm, and as usual, she looked gorgeous, but the shadows under her eyes betrayed her exhaustion. Chuck rubbed his thumb slowly on her hand, and nestled back into the pillows arranged behind his head.

His head. He couldn't believe what had happened of late. Finding his father, bringing down his own personal hero, Roark, and learning that his dad, Steve Bartowski, code name: Orion, could remove the Intersect from his head had left him in a whirlwind of emotions. Sarah had helped him through it; after the evaluation by Agent Forrester, Sarah had been loathe to hide her emotions. She had found his father for him, she helped him through the discovery that his personal hero was nothing but a fraud, and she had helped him explain to his sister why her dream wedding with Awesome had been disrupted.

And then the operation. His dad had jumped at the prospect of getting the Intersect out, and after careful deliberation and discussion with Ellie, who was in on the secret, his dad, Casey and Beckman, and most importantly, Sarah, Chuck had decided to go through with it. And now…he didn't feel any different. He still loved the beautiful woman next to him, still worried for his sister and his best friend, still had a strong urge to prod Casey.

Chuck sighed contentedly. He was happy to know he hadn't changed. The sound of his happiness must have woken Sarah, because he felt a slight movement on his hand. Sarah looked up, and her big blue eyes widened in shock at seeing Chuck awake and smiling.

"Chuck! You're awake, how are you, how are you feeling?" Chuck had never seen Sarah so worried. Even when he was in danger, even when she though he was dead, she had never had the panicked tone in her voice.

"I'm…I'm fine. No, I'm better than fine. I'm absolutely perfect. I feel great, Sarah!" He smiled a huge grin at these words, and Sarah, who had come to terms with her love for Chuck, launched out of her seat to hug him fiercely. His arms wrapped around her waist and he pulled her tight. Moving his head in to nestle on her shoulder, Chuck whispered softly in her ear. "And, you'll be pleased to know, I still love you. No threat of memory loss could make me forget someone like you, Sarah Walker." Sarah gripped him still tighter as she remembered Steve Bartowski's warning that removing the Intersect could remove Chuck's memories since he had originally downloaded it into his brain. Chuck had swallowed hard, and Sarah had looked at him questioningly. He had assured her, though, that even if he forgot her, he'd still be extremely pleased to find a gorgeous woman waiting at his bedside.

They broke apart and Sarah sat back down, keeping her hand firmly in his.

"Well, Chuck, how does it feel to be a free man?" Sarah's tone was playful, but there was tenseness in her eyes.

"I'll let you know when I know if I'm free or not!" Chuck laughed but he, too, knew that his future was as much in the air as Sarah's. Beckman had-very, very grudgingly- agreed to the removal of the Intersect, but she had declared that everyone would wait until post-op to make new plans for the team's future.


	2. Chapter 2

Ok. My second fanfic here. I don't own Chuck. Reviews are _very_ welcome. Enjoy!

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Sarah dropped Chuck's hand immediately, and he put both of his arms behind his head. Beckman's eyes flicked from one to the other, but neither betrayed the intimacy of the moment right before her entrance. Right behind General Beckman was John Casey, who despite himself, seemed to grin, just a little bit, at the sight of Chuck.

Sarah stood at Chuck's bedside and prepared herself to speak, but Beckman beat her to it.

"Agent Walker, Chuck seems perfectly capable of listening to a debriefing to me. Save the speech." Sarah looked down sheepishly as Casey walked over to join her. They stood side by side as Beckman stood at the foot of Chuck's bed.

"Mr. Bartowski. Your father and the doctors tell me you're in the midst of a charmed recovery. The operation went completely as planned and as far as we know, you are no longer the Intersect." Chuck grinned hugely as Beckman continued. "And now, we have to consider the issue of your future. Obviously, you still have extreme amounts of knowledge about the inner workings of some of the most top-secret government organizations.

"We decided though," Chuck interrupted, "that a…termination…isn't necessary, right? That's not the plan, is it?"

"Bartowski, if we were going to have you terminated, you wouldn't have made it out of the OR." At this, Chuck gulped audibly, and Sarah had to fight to contain her emotions. Even Casey shifted uncomfortably at this barely veiled threat. "However, you are correct. Great opposition from your handlers has persuaded my superiors that you've acted in the government's best interests for so long that you merit a free life. No matter what path you choose, however, you will have to sign a gag order." Chuck nodded fervently at this one condition to his freedom.

"We do have a choice to offer you. Agent Walker, Major Casey, pay attention- this affects you too. Chuck, you and your handlers are the most informed people associated with the government about the rogue agency FULCRUM. You have fought them for a year and your handlers have proved capable of dealing with the FULCRUM threat. Therefore, we'd like to offer you a choice. Either you can go completely free with a gag order, back to your normal life, and your handlers will be reassigned to new missions," Chuck's eyes flickered in a very noticeable motion to Sarah, "Or, you can be trained as a professional agent by the CIA. We will put you in an intensive agent certification program, and at the end of it, if you survive, you will have full agent status. You, Major Casey, and Agent Walker will be a team focused on seeking out FULCRUM and taking them down, with assistance from any reserves the combined forces of the government can help you with."

As Beckman explained the details of the offer, three jaws dropped in shock. When she was done, Casey grunted noncommittally, Sarah's expression was cold and unreadable, and Chuck's jaw was hanging down to the floor. His eyes were wide open and it seemed he was short of breath.

Beckman looked around at the room, filled with an air of surprise.

"I'm returning to Washington tomorrow. You will have two days to decide what you want to do. At that time, you can call me from Castle. Thank you, Mr. Bartowski, Agent Walker, Major." At this, Beckman stalked from the room and Casey turned to grunt.

"Jeez, Bartowski, pick your jaw up off the floor. I'm sure you'll want to discuss your lady feelings about this, Bartowski. We'll talk in Castle later when you're released." With this Casey stalked from the room. Sarah turned to look at Chuck with a completely stony face. Chuck looked up at her in shock, and was about to speak, before Ellie, dressed in her scrubs, sprinted into the room.

"CHUCK! They just told me you woke up! How are you feeling? The…the thingy…is it gone?! Are you my brother? Do you remember everything?!" Sarah looked with a smile in her eyes from Ellie to Chuck and murmured that she would leave them alone for now.

"Ellie, I'm completely fine, I feel fantastic. It's gone, and I remember everything. And of course I'm still your brother!" Ellie ran to Chuck's bed and hugged him fiercely. "Speaking of feeling fine, Ellie, can you pull your strings here and get me released today?" Chuck saw the immediate "No" etched all over Ellie's face before she even began to speak, and cut her off. "Ellie, you've got to trust me. I feel fantastic. But I need to get up, and move around, and get a feel for my life again. Please."

Ellie hesitated, but saw the truth in her brother's eyes.

"Okay, Chuck. I'll get them to sign your forms now. You'll let me drive you home?"

"Of course, sis. I can't wait to be home!"


	3. Chapter 3

Ok. My second fanfic here. I don't own Chuck. Reviews are _very_ welcome. Enjoy!

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Even with new knowledge weighing on his mind, Chuck felt great as he walked into the courtyard outside his house under his own power. Ellie had stuck behind to grab his bag out of the car, and he walked, slowly, to soak it all in. When he strode past the fountain, his heart gave a quick jerk. The last conversation he'd had there was with Sarah, when together, they'd chosen to have the Intersect removed. He turned away and continued to walk to the door. Chuck pulled open the door and was suddenly attacked by a small, bearded man. Chuck patted Morgan on the back and his best friend released him.

"Dude, you got in a _car accident?_ In the _Herder!?_ Are you alright, you need some TLC? I'm gonna be here 24/7, at your beck and call, until you feel all better." Morgan smiled expectantly. Chuck grinned at him and as Awesome strode over to the pair, he explained why that wouldn't be necessary. Awesome grabbed Chuck in a tight hug, and kissed Ellie on the cheek as she walked in. Chuck took his bag and capitalized on the moment when Ellie, Awesome, and Morgan were all involved- talking about him, of course. He walked slowly into his room, where the absence of his TRON poster seemed to be more obvious than usual. He dropped his bag on his bed and looked around in wonder. Everything really was the same. He couldn't have been more pleased. He was also surprised and pleased that the whole crowd hadn't come into his room yet. He assumed Ellie was behind this. Chuck settled into his chair and pulled out his iPhone. He wanted to call Sarah, he desperately needed to talk to her, to have her explain what General Beckman had said, but he was worried. As much as he loved her, and she him, her stony face after the debriefing kept his finger off the button. He would call her later. Maybe he would go over and talk to her, without the threat of Ellie or Awesome's interruption. If he chose the spy path, which, really, he couldn't believe he'd be offered, he'd have to tell Elli, but he just couldn't do that now.

And then the magnitude of the choice he had to make hit him. Join the CIA…essentially disappear for the rest of his life. He'd go through training. Weapons training, how to fight, technology, he'd become as skilled as Casey and Sarah. But then the other aspect of CIA training caught up with him. Casey's merciless prodding…Sarah's "Ice Queen" eyes. He had emotions, he had feelings, and with the CIA, he'd never be allowed to show them. And he'd be in danger, constant danger all the time. He'd been looking forward to the possibility of a life without his health and livelihood being on the line almost daily. He was scared at the thought of where his life would go if he became a spy.

Chuck plopped onto his bed and he caught a quick glimpse of his picture with Sarah in her Princess Leia costume. He thought back to what Beckman had said. If he chose a normal life, his handlers would be reassigned. And he knew from Sarah that agents were not allowed to contact anyone from past missions. If he chose a normal life, he would never see or hear from Sarah again. At just the thought, Chuck's breathing caught, and the pain was almost unbearable. And he knew right then, the only person he could trust with helping him with this decision was Sarah. Immediately, he gathered his iPhone and keys, sprinted past Ellie, Awesome, and Morgan, shouting "Gotta talk to Sarah, see you later!" and raced for the Herder. Chuck flew past traffic and reached the green door of Sarah's room before he had even figured out what to say, how to ask.

Chuck raised his fist to the door and knocked softly, three times. After a minute's wait that felt like a lifetime, he knocked twice more. After two more minutes, Chuck turned from the door and walked away. Chuck had never knocked at Sarah's door without her answering quickly. He was shocked. Chuck immediately dialed his iPhone to Casey's cell. He didn't want to call Sarah and interrupt a workout or a briefing, if that's what she was doing. Casey picked up instantly.

"What is it, Bartowski?" Casey seemed to have no sympathy for Chuck, who had only just gotten out of the hospital.

"Is Sarah with you, are you at Castle?" Chuck kept the edge of apprehension from showing in his voice, but Casey picked up on it anyway.

"Afraid Walker's not gonna be all moon-eyed for ya now that you're not Mr. Intersect, Bartowski?" Chuck grimaced and asked again, only to get a surly, "No, I'm at work right now."

This only left one place Chuck thought Sarah could be. He jumped in the Herder and headed for the Orange Orange. Chuck walked in and casually hopped the counter sporting the slogan "Yogurt and Fun". He hesitated at the register, but decided that he would just head down directly. He didn't need to be furtive anymore. Chuck quietly entered the freezer, submitted to the eye scan, and pushed into Castle. He walked up to the railing and looked over, and was completely shocked when he saw Sarah, sitting at the main ops table, head in her hands, silent sobs racking her body.

Chuck gasped out loud and ran down the stairs, but Sarah's spy reflexes had her up and gun out before he even reached the ground floor. He froze, hands up, and Sarah realized her mistake quickly. She tucked her gun away and turned from Chuck to wipe the traitor tears that leaked from her eyes.

"Sarah...it's just me. What's wrong?" Chuck and Sarah had taken some extraordinary steps since the cohabitation mishap. When Chuck had gone looking for the creator of the Intersect and almost been killed, in a moment of anger, Sarah had let slip her true feelings for him. Chuck had been shocked when she had told him how painful it would be for her if he was hurt. He received her warmly, but the arrival of Agent Forrester had killed their mood. Chuck still seethed at the injustice. When, from his point of view, he and Sarah were as far apart as ever, Beckman thought that sending in Agent Forrester to evaluate Sarah's efficiency was a grand idea. Forrester, after trying to trick Chuck into betraying his true feelings for Sarah, had left, grudgingly giving Beckman a clean report, but afterward, it seemed that Sarah was sick of hiding. She and Chuck had gone to find his father together, and the resultant kiss… it was full of things she couldn't bring herself to say.

"I'm fine, Chuck." Sarah turned around. Her tears were gone; a plastic smile was pasted onto her otherwise beautiful face. It pained Chuck to see her fake it. Even worse, it pained Chuck to know Sarah would be in pain and not share the burden with him.

"Sarah, please don't do that. I saw you, I know you were crying, please tell me what's wrong." Chuck reached out a hand to take hers, but she sat down quickly and tucked her hands in her lap. Chuck sat down opposite her and asked again what was wrong.

"Chuck…I'm sorry. I didn't want you to see this..because I know how hard this choice is for you." Sarah looked up into Chuck's brown eyes and suddenly was short of breath, and more tears stung her eyes. She cursed her rebellious responses.

"Sarah, what are you talking about? I need your help to make this decision, only you know what it would be like for me in the CIA, and to be honest, what you think I should do plays heavily into what choice I'll make."

"Chuck…I'm not good to give you advice. I'm biased." Sarah looked down, seeming almost ashamed of herself. Chuck reached out a hesitant hand and lifted her chin.

"Sarah. What do you feel about all this? Please, tell me as Sarah, not Agent Walker, not my handler. Please, I need your help."

Sarah got up and walked quickly to a corner of the room, and then strode back before Chuck could even react.

"I, I don't know, Chuck! I know what you should want, what I should want, but that doesn't mean they all correspond! Chuck, I want you to be happy. I know you've wanted to have the Intersect gone for the entirety of your stint in the government. I know that we've been, all this has been," Sarah spread her arms around the room to indicate her point, "a complete intrusion into your life. But I also know what your strengths are, what your opportunities are, and I know what my feelings for you are. I…I love you, Chuck, and I want to be with you, but I can't ask you to give up your life for me, just as I wouldn't expect that from you. I can't say, give up Ellie, and Morgan, and Awesome, and your whole life, and come fight crime with me, Chuck. And I know, I know beyond any doubt, that you could be an enormously successful agent. You're smart, you're quick witted, you think on your feet, and you're the most loyal person I've ever met. I know what you can do, and I know what we could do, together, but I don't know how I can move on from this assignment without you."

It was almost more than Sarah had said in one piece in the entire time Chuck had known her. He stood, mouth agape, as Sarah yet again dissolved into tears, but in an instant, had his arms wrapped around her. She struggled with herself, trying to quell the crying, but Chuck just held her tight against him.

Sarah pulled away, just keeping one hand intertwined with his. She could feel the pressure mounting; she had to ask the question she was afraid to know the answer to.

"Chuck, what do you want from this? Could you give up your normal life? Do you even want to?" She looked, surprisingly in control of her fear, and Chuck opened his mouth to speak.


	4. Chapter 4

Chuck opened his mouth, but no words came out. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to make Sarah feel okay, to make her feel better, but he knew lying wouldn't achieve that end. So Chuck made it simple. He told the truth.

"Sarah… I don't know what I want. No, that's a lie. I know what I want. Put simply, I want you. I want to be with you, all the time, to make you laugh and protect you and make you happy. And I want to make a difference. I've had a taste of saving lives, of being important, for once in my life. Before this all happened, I was a _Nerd Herder_. I literally had no impact on the lives of anyone around me. But now, I mean," Here Chuck paused and ran his hands through his hair, exasperated. "…I've stolen diamonds, and I've put away bad guys, and I've had some experience making a difference in the world, and I love feeling like someone's life will be different because of me. And I want all that. But I also want to be with my family. I want Awesome to take me white water rafting, I want Ellie to be indecently happy at any sign of our relationship, and I want Morgan to constantly interrupt at the very worst moment. I just can't figure out how to reconcile those wants."

Sarah knew what was coming. Chuck was going to tell her he couldn't rip himself from his family. He couldn't do that to them, and the worst part was, even though it would break her heart, she couldn't hate him for it. In fact, she would only love him more. She saw in his eyes the truth of his words, that he wanted to be with her, and the fact that he would put that aside…the fact that he would deny himself something he'd wanted for two years, just for his family…she loved him for it.

Sarah pulled away from Chuck's hand. She steeled herself to say what she needed to, to make it okay for him. She didn't want him to hurt because she couldn't handle something that was supposed to be status quo for her.

"I get it, Chuck. I know how you feel, I promise. I hope someday you can forget about me. I hope you find someone who will make you happy, because I can't." Sarah started to walk away, leaving a startled Chuck in her wake. This time, though, Chuck wasn't about to let her walk out of his life. He grabbed her arm, and pulled her back into him.

"You're not going anywhere. I told you, I want to be with you. And we still have two days before I have to tell Beckman what I want. And we're going to spend those two days thinking about this. Because there's no way I'm letting you walk out of my life. We'll find a way, Sarah." Chuck pulled Sarah into his chest, wrapping his long arms around her petite frame. "We'll find a way, Sarah. I promise."

Sarah looked up into the big brown eyes she could get lost in. She didn't know what she had done to deserve such a decent man, someone who cared about others so much more than himself.

Suddenly, a loud clatter from above them took Sarah and Chuck by surprise. She snatched her gun from her waistband as Chuck ducked behind her.

"Freeze!" She screamed, anger from being interrupted spilling over into her command.

"Relax, Walker. It's just me." Casey put up his hands and leisurely walked down the staircase. "Bartowski was having a fit because he didn't know where you were so I came over to make sure he didn't do anything foolish."

Chuck gave Casey a "Gee, thanks" look, and straightened up behind Sarah. He and Sarah stood side by side, both staring at Casey. Finally Sarah spoke up.

"Okay, Casey. He's here. I'm here. Anything else he can help you with?" Sarah was surprisingly eager to get back to their conversation, to feel his arms around her again, considering her aptitude-or lack thereof- for emotional talks.

"Nah. But my shift was almost over, and I think I'll start packing up. Got a couple favorite guns down here I want to make sure I take with me when Bartowski goes back to his Buy More-centric loser life." Casey grinned at his quip. Chuck snapped his head up, ready to retort, just as Chuck's cell phone rang. He pulled the iPhone from his pocket and saw Ellie's picture gleaming up at him from the touch screen's surface.

"Excuse me if I don't stick around and listen to your jabs, Casey. I have to take this." Chuck strode off in the direction of the holding cells, and Sarah followed him with her eyes. Casey noticed her forlorn look and grunted. A number 6, she thought. Sympathetic, and yet also incredulous.

"You knew what would happen, Walker. If you got involved with him. You knew this would happen." Sarah turned on him with fierce eyes, the usually warm blue frozen over, as if there were tiny orbs of ice instead of pools of reflective light.

"I didn't know about this. I didn't know that he would have this choice placed on his shoulders. You're telling me you don't feel for him? You've seen how he looks at us, with admiration, and you've seen him with his family. And now he has to choose? Tell me you don't feel any sympathy for him at all."

Casey looked up at her, his turn to be angry. "Yeah, Walker. I feel for the kid. You know who I don't feel for? You. You knew you'd have to leave him someday. And you knew falling for him would screw with your perfect record as an agent. And now it will. And it's a waste. Because you're…you were a great agent before him."

"And you don't think I'm a great agent now. Because I've shown that I'm human, that I have emotions? If he joined us, if all three of us were a team…we'd be perfect. With a little training, he could be a fantastic agent. The three of us work well together, whether or not I'm a hopelessly compromised…weakling." Sarah spat the word disgustedly.

"Sarah?" Chuck had surprised her. He had somehow crept up behind Casey and neither of them had noticed. She looked into his eyes and knew he had heard her. He had heard her talking about the team they could be. His eyes were swimming. She couldn't tell if she had caused him pain or happiness. "Um…Ellie wanted to talk to us. She asked for both of us. Is it okay if we go meet her?"

"Sure, Chuck. No problem, let's go." Just the prospect of being near Ellie brightened Sarah's eyes. She so loved feeling part of Ellie's family. She loved the idea that Ellie counted her as a sister.

Sarah and Chuck walked up the steel staircase as Casey shook his head. He didn't know what they were going to do, but he felt for them. Loathe as he was to show it, he really did.

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Sorry about the delay, folks. I wrote up to Chapter 3 in like, a day, it just poured out, and then I had to take a break, and when I came back to it, I didn't know where to go with it. I have about 4 different Chapter 4's saved on my computer. Still very vague about where I'm going with this, if you have a good idea, please let me know. Reviews are a lifesaver! Thanks and enjoy!


	5. Chapter 5

Okay, wow. It's been at least a month or so since I updated this, and for that, I'm truly sorry. I lost track of the story, and nothing I wrote was imaginative or halfway good. This chapter isn't particularly great either, but it's been sitting on my computer for awhile, so here it is. I can't guarantee that this means the start of a whole new slew of updates, but it just might since the end of senior year means a lot of free time. Reviews really do help! I don't own Chuck.

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Chuck and Sarah drove to Casa Bartowski in a slightly uncomfortable silence. Sarah was always in her element when she tore through the streets in her Porsche, but Chuck kept glancing over at her. She could tell he wanted to say something.

"What's the matter, Chuck?" Sarah looked over at him hesitantly. She knew there was any number of things he could be worried about.

"Did you mean what you said, Sarah? We could be a great team? I wouldn't just be…a chore for you guys?" Chuck looked down at his hands.

"Chuck…you can't let that affect your decision." Sarah bit her lip. She wanted Chuck to know that he could be a great spy, but she knew that would sway him. And she didn't want to do that, to make him choose when he wasn't ready.

"Why not? If I know I can be good at it, it affects what I want to do."

"Chuck, I don't want to sway you, but you know I meant what I said. You have the makings of a great spy. You're brave, and loyal, and smart on your feet. Our team has already been remarkably successful, and with a little training for you, we could be even better. But if you're sacrificing your personal happiness for it…" She trailed off and looked at him only momentarily, trying not to betray how much happiness he'd give her by agreeing to stay with her.

"But that's what you do. Isn't it? You've wanted to be with me, for reasons way beyond me, for who knows now. But you denied yourself that, for the job."

"Yes, Chuck. I have. But I don't want you to have to do that. I want you to be happy." She stared straight ahead at the road, refusing to look at him. "Come on, we're here. Let's go see Ellie."

Sarah expertly swung the 911 into a parking spot in front of Echo Park. She and Chuck walked together, hand in hand, to the front door of Casa Bartowski. They walked into the apartment where Ellie and Awesome were lounging on the couch. At Chuck and Sarah's entrance, they suddenly became all business, leaning forward and indicating them to take a seat.

Chuck and Sarah looked at each other suspiciously. Anything where Devon was being serious could not be good. He kept a straight face for all of one minute before he burst out into incredulous laughter.

"A SPY, Chuck?! You're a spy!?" Awesome stood up and held out his hand for a high five, ignoring Sarah's death glare and Chuck's shock.

"Ellie! I can't believe you told him! This is national security here, come on!"

"I'm sorry, Chuck, but it's Devon. Who's he going to tell?" Chuck looked at Sarah in exasperation. Hopefully she'd be able to impress the importance of secrecy on Ellie better than he could.

"Ellie, it's done, but from this point forward, you need to understand that this isn't a game. You _really_ can't tell people this, at all. Not Morgan, not your dad, really. If you tell people, you compromise my cover, Casey's cover, Chuck's cover, you compromise all of our safety, and you increase the likelihood someone will come after you or Devon to get through to Chuck."

"And, Ellie, I'm not a spy anymore. Well, I never really was, more of a hindrance, but the thing in my head….is this what you called us for?"

"Yeah, among...other things." Ellie looked from Chuck to Sarah, almost smiling in her crazy, Ellie way, while they again looked at each other with trepidation. "I was wondering…now that the thingy is gone, what happens to you and John?"

Sarah paused. She didn't know what Chuck wanted to do. She didn't even know what she wanted to do. But she had to answer Ellie's question, and truthfully, or risk losing the trust she had so carefully rebuilt after telling Ellie of Chuck's CIA affiliation.

"Well, Ellie…It's kind of up to Chuck." Sarah looked to Chuck, who looked pained, but continued.

"The higher-ups sort of gave me a choice of staying here or joining the agency as a full-fledged, trained agent," Chuck paused only to register the shocked looks on Ellie and Awesome's faces, "and where Sarah and Casey go depends on what I pick. If I choose to stay here…they have to go. Forever. And they won't be able to contact us ever again."

Sarah had to look away from Ellie, who was tearing up, and whose eyes looked so like Chuck's would if they had to be split apart. Devon was too stunned to even comment on how not awesome that choice was.

"I would be trained as an agent, and our team would be sent to combat Ful-," A sharp look from Sarah cut Chuck off, "the bad guys."

"So, wait. You three would stay together as a team?" Ellie questioned. Sarah nodded. "And your home base would be here in Los Angeles?" Sarah nodded again. "Well, what's the problem, Chuck?"

Sarah looked from Ellie, who looked like she was in "hit the stupid brother" mode again, to Awesome, who was smiling and nodding, and finally to Chuck, would looked completely dumbfounded.

"From what I'm hearing and I may be wrong, you're basically saying what you've been doing for the past two years, you'll continue to do, except you'll be trained, and assumedly paid, and Sarah and John get to stay here in Burbank, until you beat these bad guys you have to beat. What's with the hesitation?"

"Yeah, bro! You get to keep being a kickass spy, with your lady by your side and your good buddy John to keep you grounded, and you get to stay here. What's the deal, dude?"

Sarah and Chuck looked at each other in shock. Chuck hadn't considered it that way. This by no means meant his decision was made and final, but getting his sister's perspective really gave him a new look at his problem.

"Ellie…I never really thought of it that way."

"Well, of course not, Chuck. That's why you need me. Now you two, go talk about this, and go tell your boss person you're gonna do the agent thing. Honestly, Chuck, it's a no-brainer."

"Um…okay, Ellie, Chuck and I are going to go talk. We'll come by for dinner later, okay?"

"Go!"

Chuck and Sarah walked out of the apartment almost comatose; they were so shocked at Ellie and Awesome's reaction. Chuck had assumed Ellie would want him to stay as a "normal" guy for his safety, but he hadn't considered her point- he'd been doing this for two years without any major injuries and without dying, and training would probably only help him stay safe.

"Come on, Chuck, let's go to the beach." Sarah kept her arms at her sides, so Chuck couldn't take her hand, and walked stiffly to the car. Chuck had to race to keep up.

"Trust me, Chuck, the beach is a good place to talk about this."


	6. Chapter 6

Okay! Here we go. This chapter is longish, for me, and I think it's worth the wait. This story took off quickly for me, then stalled, and now it is picking back up again (Possibly because we won't see another new Chuck for 285 days. Just maybe.) I'm sad to tell you next chapter will be the last, but I'll be sure to make it a good one. This chapter comes to you courtesy of my senior year and also of Redfield, who helped me through the stickier bits. Alright, without any further ado, here it is:

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Sarah deftly pulled her sports car into a tight fit parking spot right along the beach. She sighed and rested her head against the seat back.

"Shall we?" Sarah climbed out of the car, not even waiting for Chuck. She started up the beach, heading for the water that was the same color as her eyes with Chuck following closely, who could feel his All-Stars filling up with sand with every step.

"Sarah. Sarah! Will you wait? What's the matter?" Sarah whipped around so fast that she stopped Chuck in her tracks. He stood stock still on the beach, facing her with a backdrop of the roiling ocean, the wind whipping his curls and her blonde waves. She stalked back toward him, until she got so close he could see the single tear track on her cheek.

Chuck, using bravery he didn't know he possessed, strode the last few feet to her and wrapped her in his arms. She indulged in his warm embrace for just a moment before she pulled away, looking determined.

"I…you and your family have made this decision for me. I can't walk away from you. If you decide to stay here with your family and friends, so do I."

"Sarah, what are you saying? You'd…you'd quit the CIA for me?" Confusion and shock stole across Chuck's face.

"Yes. I want to be with you. I want to fight alongside you, but more importantly, I will fight for you. If you decide to stay, I'll ask to not be reassigned, but if they refuse, I'll quit."

Chuck was left speechless. Someone walking by could clearly see gears turning under his curly brown hair.

"I don't know what to say, Sarah. I'm really shocked. I…I never imagined you'd do that. I have to admit I've hoped for it."

"Chuck, I want you to do what you want. I want you to choose what makes you happy, but know that I'll be there wherever you are. Please, don't make this decision based on what I want, because all I want is to be with you. Let me take you home, and you can think. And I'll meet you in Castle tomorrow when we call General Beckman."

Chuck nodded mutely, still processing. The drive passed in a blur and before he knew it, Sarah was gone, and he was sitting on his bed, having ignored Ellie and Awesome's questioning glances. All he could see was Sarah, a tear running down her face, her eyes hard, like shards of ice. The turmoil of the sea in the wind was replicated in his thoughts, furiously coming one after another.

Ellie wanted him to be a spy?! And Sarah was willing quit the CIA. To be with him, a Nerd Herder who made twelve bucks an hour and had no plans for the future except a definite lack of Emmett Milbarge? Was Morgan about to come in here and say he was quitting the Buy More, or was Casey going to come in and talk about his feelings about the whole matter? Was the world flipping upside down? Chuck threw his head back on his pillow and stared up at the ceiling. He was so deep in thought that he didn't even register the scraping of the Morgan Door opening slowly. Chuck looked up as a weight dropped onto the end of his bed. Morgan sat there, looking almost as morose as Chuck felt.

"Hey, Morgan."

"Hey there, Chuck. How're you feeling, fearless leader? How's that old noggin of yours?" Morgan asked, tapping at his own temple.

"I'm feeling pretty good, little buddy. Head's okay, but what's going on inside it…not sure."

"Deep in thought?" Morgan sat with his chin resting on his hand.

"You could say that, Morgan. You could say that." Chuck sighed heavily. "And you? You look like you're contemplating the ever perplexing sandwich dilemma."

"It's just Anna, man. She got offered a job teaching karate in Wisconsin. Do you know how far away Wisconsin is?! Far away. And it's cold. And there's so much cheese… But I think I love her, man. Which totally throws this whole thing into flux. I don't know what to do. Do they even have Buy Mores in Wisconsin?"

"I don't know, buddy. What does Anna have to say?"

"Nada. She won't talk to me. She says that I'll make the decision that's best for me if I leave her out of it. She's removing herself as a factor in this particular equation. She told me to wrap my head," again pointing at his temple, "around it."

"Well, buddy, sometimes you have to take a risk with your life. Just weigh the pros and cons. What's in your life here that you can't get with Anna in Wisconsin that you actually want in your life? Big Mike diddling your mom? Emmett always on your back?"

"But Chuck…it's my whole life. My whole life is here in Burbank. You, and Ellie, you guys are my family too."

"Morgan, sometimes your whole life has to change. We'll always be family, even if you're not ten minutes away or sneaking through the Morgan door."

"Thanks, buddy. I think I'm gonna go…think about it."  
"Alright, Morgan. Pedal safe." Chuck leaned back on his pillow and ruminated about how eerily Morgan's dilemmas often paralleled his own. He heard the doorbell ring and trooped out of his room, where Ellie was making what appeared to be a delicious dinner, assisted by Captain Awesome.

Chuck pulled up short as no one other than Casey lumbered in, Ellie taking his coat graciously as Awesome patted him on the back.

"Oh, Chuck, I hope you don't mind, I invited John over for dinner. As a thank-you, for keeping my baby brother safe for so long." Chuck blanched as Devon gave him a manly push on the shoulder and Casey smiled an almost ingratiating little grin.

"Just my job, Ellie. Orders are orders. Bartowski, mind if we have a word before this lovely dinner?"

"Um...sure, Casey." Chuck followed Casey out the front door, still a little shaken from his use of the word 'lovely', amidst curious looks from Ellie and the Captain. When they made it outside, Chuck's eyes lit on the fountain, and he became instantly wary. "If your version of a funny joke is to push me into the fountain I've had so many emotional moments in front of, please don't."

"I'm not gonna push you into the fountain, Bartowski. Your watch was expensive and the taxpayers don't like to waste their money. But you aren't the Intersect anymore…this does present some interesting opportunities."

Chuck looked anxiously at him. "Okay…and I think I hear Ellie calling…"

"Calm down, Bartowski, I just had something to say in case you decide to stay here. As much as I hate to admit this," and in fact, it looked as if it almost pained Casey to continue talking, "you've done a good job here. You did a lot of good work you weren't trained for, for a cause you didn't really believe in. A lot of people would say that makes you a hero. Well, I don't. But somehow, you've managed to gain my respect."

"Hey! Thanks, Casey! Hug time?" Chuck extended his arms hopefully.

"Settle for a handshake and be lucky you're getting that, super nerd. And by the way- if you decide to join up and fight for the cause…well, I think you'll make a decent agent."

"Aw, the Sugarbear returns!" Chuck said as he laughed and ran back into the house.

"I can still kill you, Bartowski!"

Somehow, Casey managed to keep up his human façade all throughout dinner, while Chuck ate, happily surrounded by his family and Casey, whom he could very, very cautiously call a friend. Casey's words were ringing in his mind: he had done good work, he would make a good agent. When Casey left and Chuck retired to his room for the evening, he still didn't know what to do.

* * *

Chuck woke up the next morning, bleary eyed from a long night of thinking, and finally tossing and turning in a restless sleep. A huge, monumental decision sat in front of him, and he still didn't know what to do with it. On the one side of the balance sat a life of action and glamour, but extreme danger and surely lots of lying. And on the other- a life of relative safety, and guaranteed normalcy, but surely boredom.

Chuck got up and stretched. He knew the briefing was at noon, and it was already ten, so he padded down the hallway to grab a quick breakfast before his shower. Ellie was there, peering at him over her coffee.

"Morning, Chuck." Ellie cautiously checked his response. Apparently, something in his countenance gave away that he was not in the mood for the normal Bartowski banter, and he slogged through his Cheerios and with just a half hearted wave at his sister, hit the showers.

With only a half hour with which to grab coffee and get to the Castle, Chuck left Casa Bartowski in his normal jeans, long sleeve shirt, and All-stars. He was borrowing Ellie's car for the occasion, and as he drove first to Starbucks and then to the Orange Orange, he continually went over the same thoughts in his mind. Agent? Or normal guy? Brother and boyfriend, or lover and partner?

Chuck somehow arrived at the OO in one piece, even driving absentmindedly in LA, and before he went in to make a decision he still didn't know what to do for, he heaved a sigh. One more deep breath, and Chuck walked straight back into the freezer, submitted to the eye scan, and clomped down to the missions table, where General Beckman was already holding court.

Chuck and Sarah's eyes met, but she turned away quickly. He averted his own eyes to the tops of his shoes.

"Ah, Mr. Bartowski. Glad to see you're looking well and have finally joined us." General Beckman raised her eyebrow at him, and he looked sheepish until his downcast glaze alighted on his watch.

"Hey, I'm early!" Casey prodded him in the side and whispered out of the side of his mouth, "Not by military standards, numbnuts."

"Well, now that the team is all here, Chuck, we need your decision." Chuck looked around nervously, still unsure. He took in the high tech weaponry of Castle, Casey's unemotional stare, Sarah's back turned to him. He swore he could see her take a deep breath of anticipation. Chuck squared his shoulders.

"Will you join the CIA?"

* * *

I know, I know, you're all going to HATE me for leaving you like that. Hey, cliffhangers aren't just for TV directors, you know? Anyway, massive thanks again to Redfield- my personal beta reader/muse.

Hey, you guys know what makes me write a great conclusion to a crazy cliffhanger like this one? Yep, you got it. Reviews. Any criticism or compliments are welcome. Thanks!


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